It's been a long time since I've posted anything here! Team Camwell has taken over, but I didn't want to give this blog up. It would be like admitting that I'm no longer an oboist--only a mom. Some days I feel dangerously close to acquiring the title of "used to be an oboist". I'm so in baby zone, I don't know what else to talk to people about. It's been three weeks since I've touched my instrument. Then, it was just to play along with the high school students (oboe/bassoon) I teach on Tuesday mornings. It doesn't help that I have no symphony music to work on. It doesn't help that on nights like tonight, when we're "trying" putting Harry to bed with a bottle (not "with" the bottle) instead of me nursing him because my mom is coming to help out in April, and there will be many nights I will be in Cedar Rapids when she'll have to put him to bed without me here. So although I love being the provider for my baby, I feel like I'm attached...I can't be away from him for more than two hours. I honestly thought I'd be ok with that, and that I wouldn't mind sacrificing my career to be a mom. What career, really? I'm a part-time musician at best these days, anyway. But I know 100% that my musicianship has suffered. I'm a little scared to practice for fear of what I'll hear. I now belong to a ladies' musical club (very la-dee-da, and I love it), and they've asked me to play something in two weeks. This is the first time most of them (all except three of them) will hear me play. And I will sound like dog poo.
OK, I'm a little down.