This weekend's performances of The Vagina Monologues were really fun! I was so nervous, but according to friends in the audience, my nerves were well-hidden. My monologue was last, which helped and hindered my performance. I relaxed, knowing that all the other women were able to put any of their fears aside, stand up, and give moving performances. I felt empowered, thinking of my personal reasons for doing this. My voice may be small by itself, but if you put enough of us together, the roar against violence against women would be deafening.
The nerves came and went as I sat in my chair on stage. It was very much like waiting to play a big English horn solo in a later movement of a piece, after sitting for the entire piece. (Ech-hem...Berlioz, Resphighi, Ravel...should I go on?) My palms got sweaty. I was particularly nervous at the end of the monologue directly preceding mine. For those of you familiar with the Monologues, it was the moaner ("The Woman who loved to make vaginas happy")...yeah...tough act to follow. In many ways though, I think my monologue (I've claimed it!) is the most powerful. It's so poetic, and I loved reading it that way. I got some very nice compliments afterwards. And there were no "v-v-v-vagina" stutters! Yeah, me!
Some tough word combinations that I overcame in my performance:
1) "the nurse from the Ukraine"
2) "then the fast swimming body, swimming quickly into our weeping arms."
3) "So is the vagina!" (I had to practice that one over and over--mostly for tone/mood)
4) "I remember." (again, for tone)
Some poignant moments in the production:
1) Audible gasps in the audience at the not-so-happy vagina fact re. gender mutilation.
2) Soft sighs after hearing a "six-year-old's" answers to some questions.
3) Chills running through me when I saw the brave women stand around me at the end of the show, responding to, "If you are a survivor of violence against women, and you feel comfortable, we invite you to stand."
I'm so happy I was able to take part in this. If you're ever given the opportunity to participate, jump at it. If you can attend a production that will help support such a great cause (most of the money raised went to a local women's shelter trying to open its doors, and the rest of it went to the V-Day Campaign), try to go.
Side note: Dave went today. I was so proud of him--and Tracy tells me he didn't squirm once!
And so ends my acting career...for now! Who knows, maybe I'll take this baby on the road. There was a video recording made, so I'll see if I can get a copy. Of course, I will have to screen it first to make sure I didn't just blank out a bad performance. Then maybe, maybe it will make its way to this blog. :)