Concert went pretty well last night--not the best of the year. It seemed like everyone had problems. Response issues, particularly in the first movement. The orchestra seemed tentative until after the repeat (that first page in my part takes forever!), when we finally seemed to relax and flow. I had to sneak-tongue my low B (slur from low E to low B, pp, as my first entrance), but nobody seemed to notice. I was really disappointed with my reeds--and my playing in general. It's really frustrating when there's absolutely nothing you can do as you're sustaining a long note and there's a rattle in your sound (no, this is not spit). Thankfully, the last solo I had was the best I'd played it (third movement). The rest of the piece? Not my best playing. I felt like writing a letter of apology to the conductor; I then talked myself out of this. We can be so hard on ourselves, and chances are those little imperfections went unnoticed.
I noticed though, and I'm a little down today.
My English horn is acting up--another frustration because you really can't tell if it's a problem with your instrument, your reeds, or you. I can leave it with a repairman pretty soon. I've been called in to fill out Simpson College's band for some rehearsals and concerts, so I'll need it then, but otherwise I don't have anything coming up until JUNE!! Can you believe it? This was my last symphonic set this year! I play a pops concert ("Freedom Festival") at the end of June, and then nothing until September. Oboe is a little different, with the whole lecture-document and all. But my schedule has never been this clear. If I was dependent on this income (it's supplemental), I would not be able to survive. I would be playing oboe on street corners. (Then it would crack in this cold, and I would just be homeless with a broken oboe. The crazy oboe lady.) I'm very thankful that Dave is able to support us both. My teaching and playing help provide the comforts in our life. More playing, and of course more money, would be nice, but there's something to be said for health insurance, a steady paycheck, and a home. Not that I'd turn down any gigs. Please send them my way! I need to keep playing, for my spirit...and my chops!