Even though the last acting I had done was in junior high, I got it into my head that I was perfectly capable of auditioning for a Simpson College production of the Vagina Monologues. (If you have not read these, get out from under your rock and get your hands on a copy. That means you too, men!) They spoke to me when I first read them (I've never seen a production), and when Dave sent me an email announcing the auditions, I really felt like I wanted my voice to be one of the voices speaking out against women's violence. (Learn more at V-Day.org)
Anyway, back to the audition. I don't think Dave thought I'd actually be interested in auditioning when he forwarded me the email. My immediate reaction was "I want to do this!" followed shortly by "eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" No signing up was required, so I had several days to psyche myself up for it. I asked a friend to go with me for support, as I didn't think I could go it alone. And if you know Dave, although he *half-heartedly* offered to go along, he's kind of squeamish with words like "vagina", "sanitary napkin", and "woman". I thought the squirming would override the support.
We went to Borders on the weekend, and I read through a couple of the monologues to refresh my memory. Tonight was the big night. More psyching up. I called my friend to confirm her presence, and she couldn't go afterall. So I called another friend. She couldn't go either. I felt light-headed at the thought of doing this all by myself. This was not like an orchestra audition where it's just you and the committee. Everybody else auditioning just hangs out in the same room. I really wanted this, but I would really need to steady my nerves. I thought, "just go to the audition, and if you can't bring yourself to do it, no harm done."
When I got to the audition, I signed in and picked up the two monologues I had to choose from. One was "My Angry Vagina" and the other was "Because he liked to look at it." I'd read them both in the bookstore, and the latter was one of my favourites. There was only one person ahead of me and nobody else in the room. I decided to go for it.
My voice quivered a little at first, I had to consciously slow down my speech, and I stumbled over a few words (I think I may have said "bagina" the first time the word came up), but I also relaxed the further I went. I made eye contact, I raised and lowered my voice, and they laughed quite a few times at my deliveries (or maybe it was just the good jokes in the writing). Overall, I was very happy with how it went. Most importantly though, I won't have to sit here and regret not going through with it afterall. I won't be upset if I don't get a part--I may have been the least experienced person there. Oh, did I mention that the "nobody else in the room" turned into 10 more women sitting behind me when I finished?
I will be sure to keep everyone posted on the outcome!